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When my husband and I set out on the daunting journey of understanding ADHD, Douglas A. Puryear MD's book, "Your Life Can Be Better," beckoned to us with the promise of insights into a better life. Join us as we revisit this transformative book and share our thoughts on how Dr. Puryear's personal journey with ADHD resonated with us. Who is Douglas A. Puryear? Douglas A. Puryear is a retired psychiatrist who discovered his own ADHD at the age of 64, became a guiding light in our quest for understanding. His journey, marked by personal trials and triumphs, infuses a genuine quality into the advice he imparts. As we delved into his world, exploring his successful private practice and enduring marriage, Dr. Puryear emerged as a living testament to what many ADHD spouses aspire to achieve. Even in retirement, he continues to share his wisdom through his blog, ADDadultstrategies. What do I think of this book? Revisiting the book allowed me to delve deeper into its profound insights. Dr. Puryear's comprehension of the attention challenges faced by ADHD readers is evident throughout the book. He cleverly ensures that the content remains accessible, relatable, and sprinkled with humor. The book's 71 chapters, each ranging from 2 to 5 pages, masterfully engage readers in weighty topics like shame, making the content not just informative but also enjoyable. While my spouse and I agreed that the book felt a bit lengthy, it became clear that Dr. Puryear poured his heart and soul into this work. As more adults over 55 discover ADHD later in life, we believe this book is a valuable resource for understanding ADHD and implementing strategies to enhance their lives. Three Reasons Why I Recommend This Book to Older Adults Who Just got Diagnosed: 1) Easy to Read The brevity of chapters caters to short attention spans often associated with ADHD. Dr. Puryear's writing style, both informative and light-hearted, makes the content approachable and enjoyable. His personal struggles with ADHD are woven into each chapter, creating a relatable narrative. Additionally, he avoids technical jargon, like executive function, neurotypical, DSM-5, etc., making the book more enjoyable and palatable for readers. For examples, in chapter 18, he shared what red flag is to him and how he use it to take action. Red flag can be warning of danger or just a signal to alert us to something. Some of my personal red flags are, " I'll do that later ," and " Oh, it'll be OK ," and " I have plenty of time ." We can learn what our red flags are and recognize them when they pop-up. We can be conscious of little bits of available time; using them decreases the pressure we feel. The "I'll do that later" is a common phrase my husband uses and "that thing" is forgotten as soon as he finishes the sentence. It prompted us to agree to a deadline and set a reminder right at that moment if that phrase pops up in our conversation. 2) A Real Strategy Book What sets this book apart is its focus on practical strategies. From the first chapter, Dr. Puryear offers tips he discovered even before his diagnosis. His ability to connect these strategies to ADHD symptoms, explained with logic and clarity, makes the book immensely valuable. This approach helps readers quickly connect the dots in their own lives, especially those diagnosed later in life. Here are a practical strategy he shared in his book that made a lot of sense to us on keeping and sustaining focus on chapter 21. What turns our focus center on? Personal interest, Novelty, Challenge . Heavy immediate deadline . We can play mind games to trick our focus center into turning on. We have some ability to control our attitudes, and one way is to choose what kind of language we are going to use to ourselves. Should's and 'have to's tend to stall us even though they 'should' encourage us. His strategy here did not just taught my husband, but also myself on how to prepare for errand conversations with my husband when I know the errands are something he does not enjoy. 3) Successful ADHD Couples' Stories While primarily about individual strategies, the inclusion of a chapter about Dr. Puryear's experiences with his wife adds a unique touch. Stories like "how to ensure he leaves the toilet seat down" resonate universally, reminding readers that navigating challenges is a part of every couple's journey, ADHD or not. Conclusion: "Your Life Can Be Better" stands as a beacon of practical wisdom for ADHD spouses who found out about the ADHD diagnosis late in life. Dr. Puryear's sincerity in wanting to help others is palpable throughout the book. The unique approach of focusing on challenges, tying them to ADHD symptoms, and then providing strategies makes the complex topic of ADHD more digestible. This book is not just a guide; it's a success story that inspires readers to overcome their challenges and thrive personally and professionally.

NOTE: This support group is being transitioned to a new platform outside of ADDA as of July 17th, 2024. If you are interested in joining, do not sign up for the ADDA membership. Click here to learn more about the new platform. Navigating a relationship where one partner has ADHD can present unique challenges. For non-ADHD partners, understanding and supporting their partner while managing their own emotions and needs is crucial. ADDA, one of the largest ADHD non-profit organizations, offers a non-ADHD partner support group to provide emotional and peer support. Currently, this group is led by Mike Fedel, an ADHD coach who understands these challenges firsthand. After attending these sessions for the past few months, I'd like to share my thoughts on this support group. Who is Mike Fedel? Mike Fedel is an ADHD coach with a personal understanding of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. He was diagnosed with ADHD himself in 2013, after years of navigating life without knowing about ADHD. Mike brings both professional expertise and personal insight to his role as facilitator of the ADDA non-ADHD support group. What Do I Think of the Support Group? I am impressed by the size and engagement of this support group—it's the largest non-ADHD support group I have seen and attended. Mike's approach to helping non-ADHD partners understand ADHD behaviors is commendable. He remains composed and patiently explains these behaviors to the best of his knowledge, helping participants connect the dots and gain a deeper understanding of their partner's actions. This is really not an easy feat as some of the discussion could potentially be triggers for Mike himself. Three Reasons Why I Recommend This Group: 1. Affordability and Accessibility:   This support group is incredibly accessible and affordable, free if you have a ADDA membership (BTW, the membership only costs $9 a month—equivalent to 2 Grande latte at Starbucks). The group session is held weekly with consistently high attendance (30+ people per session), fostering a strong sense of community among non-ADHD partners who share similar challenges. 2. Insight into ADHD Behaviors:  Mike Fedel's personal experience with ADHD enriches the group sessions. He goes beyond just discussing behaviors; he explores the underlying reasons behind them. This deeper understanding helps non-ADHD partners accept and navigate their partner's behaviors more effectively, paving the way towards finding solutions together. For example, as we were talking about how ADHD spouses often mask themselves in front of others, Mike explained how the mask sometimes comes off with their non-ADHD spouse because they let their guard down and trust their partner. While the unmasking might mean that the non-ADHD spouse sees a not-so-pleasant side of their ADHD spouse, it is also a sign of the ADHD spouse's trust. Upon some internal reflection, I realized how important it is for me not to react negatively when the unmasking happens. Being cognizant of this behavior allowed me to become more supportive of my spouse, which helped him recover from negative thoughts faster. 3. Interactive and Supportive Environment:  The group sessions are not just informative but also interactive. While not everyone is able to speak during the session, everyone can participate in the chat, fostering a collaborative atmosphere where participants can share insights and support one another. Additionally, the multiple options to connect offline through dedicated private Facebook group, ADDA social platform in their website or directly connecting with other members via phone, text or email makes getting access to support much more accessible. Conclusion: ADDA's non-ADHD support group led by Mike Fedel offers a valuable resource for non-ADHD partners navigating relationships with individuals with ADHD. Mike's blend of personal experience and professional expertise creates a supportive environment where members can gain insights, connect with others facing similar challenges, and find effective strategies for enhancing their relationships. Whether you're seeking understanding, community, or practical advice, this support group provides a compassionate space to navigate the complexities of ADHD relationships with confidence. If you have attended one of Mike's support groups, let us know your thoughts by commenting below. NOTE: This support group is being transitioned to a new platform outside of ADDA as of July 17th, 2024. If you are interested in joining, do not sign up for the ADDA membership. Click here  to learn more about the new platform. Support Group Details: Total sessions: 1 session a week, Wed at 9AM PT Medium: Zoom Health Insurance reimbursement: Not Applicable Rating: 5 out of 5 stars Check out Mike Fedel's website: Here

Having checked out the on-line version of the ADHD conference in 2023, I was always curious about the in person conference. And since they announced early in 2024 that the conference in Anaheim, CA, I decided to check it out myself since it is just a short plane hop for me. Now having attended the conference personally, it was an incredible experience filled with valuable insights, deep discussions, and meaningful connections. Today, I share more of why this conference made it to my gift list last year. Event Overview The ADHD International Conference 2024 was a power-packed 3-day event featuring top ADHD researchers, therapists, and advocates. Attendees had the opportunity to dive deep into ADHD education, learn practical strategies, and engage in discussions tailored to various aspects of ADHD life. This year's conference is hosted by 3 organizations, ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO), ADDA and CHADD. During the 1st day, it is dedicated to ADHD professionals, ADHD coaches and mental health professionals, with pre-conference workshops that span across various topics to help professional to stay inform. The 2nd and 3th day of the event are for general attendees and professionals. With sessions covering everything from executive function challenges to relationship dynamics, the conference was designed to provide knowledge and actionable solutions. For me personally, I highly recommend ADHD couples at all stages in the journey to attend the in person event as the ability to connect with others who are in the same journey helps makes us feel less alone and heard. Why Should ADHD Couples Consider Attending? Packed Full of ADHD Education and Knowledge in Just Two Days When we are at home, we have to find time to learn about ADHD. However, life gets in the way and often this get pushed to a lower priority. By attending a live event, it could serve as a focus education experience where attendees can absorb expert-led sessions and gain insights. It allows you to focus and learn while you are at the conference, allowing other tasks that could wait till end of the conference. One of the most impactful sessions for me was Ari Tuckman’s session, ADHD Couples Therapy Inside and Out. in this session, seeing a mock therapy session play out in real-time helped attendees grasp the nuances of how therapy works and how therapists navigate couples' struggles. For any couples who are looking into couples therapy, this mock session is a great way to understand how therapy works and understand what they should be expecting. Meeting Others on the Journey One of the most rewarding thing for me was the opportunity to meet other ADHD couples and hear their stories firsthand. Throughout the conference, I had opportunity to chat with ADHD couples or individual partners on their journeys. Through these conversations, many of us felt heard, understood and help us connect the dots in our own marriage. This year, ADHD marriage experts, Melissa Orlov and Marriage & Family Therapist,Susan Tschudi, hosted the session, Please help Me/Go Away The ADHD relationship Paradox and the ADHD couple peer support group during the conference. Both the session and especially the support group was pack with couples looking for guidance and support. They shared their challenges and triumphs, making it a space for validation, encouragement, and learning. The connections made at this event extend beyond the conference itself, as many share their contact info so they can stay in touch with long after the event ends. Awesome Keynotes from Experts and Advocates Every year, the conference brings in thought leaders who share practical strategies and inspiring stories. This year, Penn Holderness’ keynote on thriving with ADHD was especially impactful. As an award-winning content creator and author, Penn shared his journey of thriving with ADHD, emphasizing how he navigates life with his family. His talk reinforced the idea that thriving with ADHD isn’t about “fixing” anything but learning how to work with ADHD traits to build a fulfilling and successful life. His humor and relatability made the keynote both engaging and deeply inspiring. Conclusion Before attending the conference, I didn’t know exactly what to expect. However, as I sat in the ADHD couples peer support group, listening to others share their stories, it reaffirmed what I’ve always believed—ADHD couples can  thrive. This belief is why this website and blog exist. The more you connect with successful ADHD couples and take action together, the clearer the path to a thriving relationship becomes. The ADHD International Conference is an essential step on that journey. Whether you’re an ADHD partner or a non-ADHD spouse, attending this event can provide you with the tools, knowledge, and connections to strengthen your relationship and navigate ADHD with confidence. If you’ve never attended before, I highly recommend putting this conference on your calendar for this year! The next in-person conference will take place from November 13-15, 2025, in Kansas City, MI. Can’t wait till November? The online version of this conference is coming on March 7-8, 2025. You can attend virtually from your own home and get access to the Penn Holderness keynote recording. Find other ADHD couples resources in the events calendar here .

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As I set out to identify relevant ADHD couples resources for my readers at the beginning of the year, a recommendation came my way to explore Alan P. Brown's "Crush Your ADHD Summit." Intrigued, I encouraged my ADHD spouse to join me in exploring this event. Here's our perspective on this enriching experience and why ADHD couples might find it worthwhile. Who is Alan P Brown? Alan P. Brown, an ADHD coach and the creative force behind ADD Crusher™, a video series designed for teens and adults with ADHD, has been offering his expertise for the past 13 years. With a personal understanding of ADHD struggles, he provides video series, group, and private coaching to help individuals live the life they desire. Event Overview The "Crush Your ADHD Summit," an annual virtual gathering organized by Alan P. Brown, aims to empower individuals to thrive. With five virtual sessions per day, the event delivers a diverse array of sessions featuring top ADHD speakers and coaches, focusing on kickstarting 2024 with momentum and productivity. Our Take of the Event Opting for free access, we had 24-hour access to watch each day's five sessions. Although we couldn't attend all sessions, our divide-and-conquer approach allowed us to cover four out of the five sessions each day. My ADHD spouse gained valuable time management tips, crucial for someone dealing with serious time blindness. For me, the event provided deeper insights into ADHD behaviors, enhancing my understanding of my spouse's ADHD, fostering empathy and patience within our ADHD-influenced marriage. Our Top 3 Takeaways 1. ADHD Coaches Rich Event The summit unfolds as a treasure trove for individuals seeking an ADHD coach or a productivity program. Over the five days, we had the opportunity to check out more than 20 ADHD coaches, including notable figures like Aron Croft, Linda Roggli, Tara McGillicuddy, and others. This diverse pool allowed us to assess coaching styles, creating a shortlist of potential candidates. The unique aspect that stood out was the personal connection – many of these coaches shared that they themselves have ADHD. This shared experience added a layer of understanding and authenticity to their coaching, as they navigated and conquered similar challenges, making them even more relatable and effective. 2. Test the Waters with Your Short List of Coaches Recognizing the challenges faced by those with ADHD, the summit took a proactive approach by providing free or discounted training sessions from coaches who often also have ADHD themselves. This not only demonstrated their commitment but also allowed attendees to experience the coaching style firsthand. The sessions provided valuable insights into the coaches' methodologies, ensuring that attendees could make informed decisions before committing to a more extensive program. This approach resonated with us, as it reflected an understanding of the investment involved and the desire for tangible results. 3. Pace Yourself and Watch What You Can With five virtual sessions offered each day, each lasting around 30 minutes, pacing became crucial. Recognizing that watching all five sessions at once could result in information overload and reduced effectiveness, my ADHD spouse and I opted for a more manageable approach. We agreed to watch two sessions each day, the maximum amount of information he could retain before feeling overwhelmed. This strategy not only prevented information blur but also acted as a forcing function for the ADHD brain, leveraging the 24-hour access to encourage prompt action. This, coupled with more meaningful discussions during dinner, enhanced our ability to incorporate these strategies into our daily lives effectively. The flexibility offered by the summit catered to diverse schedules, ensuring that participants could tailor their experience to align with their individual needs and priorities. Conclusion The event proved invaluable for us at the beginning of our search for an ADHD coach. Assessing numerous coaches in one week and discovering new strategies really help him jump start my ADHD spouse's 2024 goal for finding an ADHD coach. For those interested, Alan offers an on-demand option with a discount. To stay updated on productivity sessions, courses, and tips by subscribing to my blog. Want to check out the event's speaker list? Click here Promo code: CRUSH24 to get a 20% savings on the VIP Upgrade, which gets you the on demand access to all the sessions in the Summit.

*This post contains an affiliate link. If you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you and it helps fund the website. I only recommend because I have personally vetted. In my ongoing quest to learn and grow as a non-ADHD spouse, I recently discovered another invaluable resource that I can't wait to share with you. PESI, a platform I've previously recommended for supporting our education on ADHD, offered a fantastic free training session by Dr. David Nowell. After participating in this session, Dr. Nowell has solidified his place as one of my top educators in this field. Here's why I found his training so compelling and why I recommend you check it out too, especially if you're a non-ADHD spouse. Who is Dr. David D. Nowell, PhD? Dr. David D. Nowell, a renowned expert in the field of ADHD and neurodiversity, is a name that carries significant weight in the ADHD-impacted community. With a PhD in Clinical Psychology and extensive experience in this domain, Dr. Nowell has dedicated his career to advancing our understanding of ADHD and helping individuals and families thrive in the face of its challenges. His approach is not solely academic but also deeply practical, setting him apart as a leading figure in ADHD education. What is the training about? This is a training offered by PESI, led by Dr. David Nowell. While the primary target audience is therapists, teachers, and caregivers, I found it highly enlightening as a non-ADHD spouse. Many non-ADHD spouses often have to play the roles of therapist, cheerleader, and caregiver in their daily lives with their ADHD spouse. What was the training like? First and foremost, Dr. Nowell's presentation style is nothing short of entertaining. Let's be honest; sitting through an 8-hour online training session can be a daunting task, but his engaging approach, great use of the zoom chat feature for instant feedback and ample of Q&A sessions made it much more manageable. He covered a wide range of topics, from ADHD medication to techniques and tools suggestions, and some of his treatment philosophies. Now, let me share some key takeaways from his training that ADHD couples could benefit from. My top 4 takeaways for ADHD couples 1. Prioritizing Important Skills for Success Dr. Nowell emphasized the need to focus on essential life skills for long-term success, rather than getting bogged down in everyday tasks like laundry and dishes. He made a thought-provoking point by calculating the number of days we have left on Earth. This perspective shift is essential for our relationships. Instead of stressing about daily chores, he encouraged the audience to focus on helping ADHD clients acquire the skills that will genuinely contribute to a successful, long-term life. He introduced a four-quadrant framework that can help the audience prioritize these skills effectively with their ADHD clients. Anything landing in the orange quadrant, not important and not fun, he explained not to spend time on. Instead, focus on the green and yellow (important and fun, and important and not fun) and help ADHD clients build the necessary skills to support successful completion in these two quadrants. 4 Quadrant Framework For me, a light bulb moment occurred because it made a lot of sense to me. As a non-ADHD spouse, I've often focused on minute, repetitive household tasks (not important and not fun in the long term of our marriage) with my ADHD spouse. I'd get upset because of his inability to perform those tasks while neglecting the focus on important things that matter to me and our future, such as building a financial future together. Once I realized this, I completely shifted a large portion of my focus from getting him to do many daily household tasks down to a few key ones to helping him increase his earnings, which will achieve a financial future for both of us and allow us to enjoy ourselves when retirement time comes. 2. Top-Down and Bottom-Up Approaches Dr. Nowell advocated for a holistic approach that includes both top-down and bottom-up strategies. The top-down approach involves behavioral support, reframing, and strategic behavioral inquiry, like "How did you do that" (HDYDT). It's about altering behavior and understanding how ADHD clients accomplish tasks. On the other hand, the bottom-up approach involves helping ADHD clients control and self-regulate their behaviors with the concept of "modified independence" to minimize distractions and get to the completion of the next steps in the tasks. Dr. Nowell suggests providing various forms of prosthetics that help ADHD clients at their point of performance, increasing the likelihood of achieving the desired performance and outcomes. His examples of how to determine if you have the "right" prosthetics to help ADHD clients to remember to pick up groceries on his/her way home were truly eye-opening for me. His explanation of what constitutes appropriate prosthetics and how to define the point of performance has prompted me to rethink how I could further enhance the existing prosthetics for my ADHD spouse at his points of performance to achieve the desired outcomes. While neurotypical people like non-ADHD spouse only needs a simple text message request with approximately what is needed for the dish some time during the day is sufficient. For people with ADHD, they need multiple prosthetics to support multiple points of performance - text message ( prosthetics #1 ) as one leaves work ( point of performance # 1 ) and a grocery list of items needed ( prosthetics #2 ) as one enters the grocery store ( point of performance #2 ). 3. A Toolbox of Practical Tools and Tips Throughout the 6-hour training, Dr. Nowell shared a wealth of practical tools and tips that we can immediately implement in our daily lives with ADHD clients, our ADHD spouses. These range from using clear containers to help them locate items more easily, creating Spotify playlists for smoother morning routines like getting in and out of the shower, utilizing talk points recorders, employing timer apps like Pomodoro, and practicing various self-regulation techniques, including breathing exercises. These tools are a godsend for non-ADHD spouses seeking to provide effective support from the ground up. For me, this was extremely valuable as I'm always looking for ways to help my husband succeed. This training surfaces many all at ones, verses a few at t time. These tools and tips are all part of the prosthetics toolbox that could aid my ADHD spouse in staying focused, being less distracted, and achieving more daily. 4. Finding the Right Partner While this portion is brief, Dr. Nowell did take the time to talk about the importance of the right partner for people with ADHD. Finding someone that complements ADHD client's skillset is critical for long-term life success as the partner will need to help build those prosthetics and continue the work with the ADHD clients between their therapy sessions. For me, this makes a lot of sense. While in my ADHD marriage, we have complementing skills, there are areas that neither of us are very strong in. The good thing is we continuously grow as individuals throughout our lives and many skills, like communications, can be improve bit by bit. As long as both are willing to keep the conversation channels open and willing to build up those areas , then ADHD couples can benefit from a long-term relationship together. Conclusion As part of the gratitude month, I am super grateful for Dr. Nowell and PESI bring this free training to the public to open up my perspective and find new ways to support my ADHD spouse more effectively. Dr. Nowell's free training session is an eye-opener for anyone in an ADHD marriage. The depth of knowledge he imparts, along with the practical applications, is simply outstanding. If you missed the free training but still want to attend, you're in luck. You can purchase this training as digital seminar with on demand access for $99.99 here instead of paying the full price of $249.99. If you are in Boston and want to see him live, here is the link to the in person session. If you were one of the luck ones that access the free training or attended the digital seminar, be sure to share your thoughts in the comment below.

I recently had the opportunity to attend the 14th Annual ADHD Awareness Expo, happening virtually from October 1st to October 31st, created and hosted by Tara McGillicuddy, the host of ADHD Support Talk Radio and a recognized ADHD expert. This was my first time attending the expo, and I'd like to share my insights in the hopes of helping other non-ADHD spouses make an informed decision about whether to attend this event. An Impressive Lineup of ADHD Coaches and Experts One of the standout features of this expo was the impressive lineup of ADHD coaches and experts, including the renowned Dr. Ned Hallowell. These experts brought their wealth of knowledge and experience to the virtual stage, making it clear that this event was designed with the ADHD community in mind. A Valuable Experience for Both Sides of ADHD Relationships While it's true that many of the presenters at the expo have ADHD themselves or have loved ones with ADHD, I found this to be a strength rather than a limitation. This event offers something valuable for both sides of ADHD relationships. For ADHD spouses, the expo provides a treasure trove of tips and strategies from ADHD coaches that can help manage symptoms such as forgetfulness and time blindness. These insights can make a real difference in daily life, enhancing the quality of the relationship. For non-ADHD spouses like me, the value lies in gaining a deeper understanding of the strategies and tools that can assist our partners. When your spouse is trying to implement these tips, having a shared understanding of their purpose can be immensely helpful. It allows you to provide better support and encouragement, ultimately strengthening your connection. Furthermore, if you're curious about what ADHD coaches do and how they can benefit your partner, this expo is an excellent place to explore. You'll find information and resources that can demystify the role of ADHD coaches and highlight their significance in managing ADHD effectively. A Note on Expo Access I attended the free version of the expo, which provided access to a wealth of information and valuable sessions. However, there's also an option to upgrade to VIP access, which grants extended access to recorded sessions and a free gift bag. While I opted for the free access, the VIP option may be worth considering if you want to dive deeper into the content and get additional perks. In Conclusion The 14th Annual ADHD Expo offers a unique opportunity for non-ADHD spouses to connect with a community of experts and individuals who understand the challenges and triumphs of ADHD. While the event is geared toward those with ADHD, I believe it's well worth attending as a non-ADHD spouse. By gaining insights, understanding, and practical tips, you can strengthen your connection with your partner and provide valuable support in their ADHD journey. Whether you attend the free expo or opt for the VIP experience, this event has the potential to enhance your role as a non-ADHD spouse in your ADHD marriage.

: 5 out of 5 stars Find all her upcoming support group sessions our events calendar: here Like more Reviews the first to get first-hand insights, access upcoming ADHD couples training, enriching courses, and reviews

Last year, I read several articles about how Amazon Alexa and Google Mini can help keep an ADHD household organized. Curious, my ADHD spouse and I decided to buy both as Christmas presents and try them out. Now, six months later, we still use both devices daily. But the question is, which one is better for an ADHD couple's household? In today's article, we'll share our experiences with both and tell you which one we prefer. What They Both Mainly Do For Us Both Alexa and Google Mini offer essential features that help with daily management. Here are 5 key features we use the most: Set Reminders: During our weekly check-ins, we schedule reminders for key tasks for the following week. Create Routines: My spouse likes to automate tasks and streamline daily activities, such as wake-up and bedtime routines. Set Timers: We use timers for time management and staying on track. For example, my ADHD spouse sets timers for laundry to remind him to move clothes from the washer to the dryer. Create To-Do Lists: Adding items to our to-do list during weekly check-ins is easy. We also add reminders and due dates to ensure tasks are completed. Play Music: We enjoy music with simple voice commands. I like using it for focused work music or calming tunes throughout the house. Alexa: Strengths and Weaknesses Alexa Wins At: 1. User-Friendly Mobile App: The intuitive app is crucial for an ADHD household where simplicity is key. 2. Conversational Interaction: Alexa’s ability to engage in natural conversations stands out. When setting a reminder, Alexa might ask if additional reminders are needed. As a non-ADHD spouse, I love this feature because it takes the load off of me from being the reminder for my ADHD spouse. 3. Customizable Wake Word: Personalization can be helpful and fun for us. Alexa Loses At: 1. Too Many Notifications and Upsell: Alexa constantly updates you about your shopping cart status and package deliveries by changing the color on the device. My ADHD spouse finds this distracting and always takes the time to clear the notification whenever he sees it. 2. Limited Command Flexibility: While the marketing suggests easy verbal interactions, Alexa requires very specific commands, which can be frustrating. For example, we had smart lights throughout our home and Alexa always turned on my office light instead of my bedside light when I said "turn on the bedroom light," even though I labeled the second bedroom as an office in the app. 3. Incomplete Remembering Command: While Alexa saves information you ask it to remember, it fails to provide the answer when you ask about it. For example, I asked it to remember that I placed the keys in the office. Alexa tells me it saved the information in notes, but when I ask, "Where are my keys?" it doesn't understand my command. Google Mini: Strengths and Weaknesses Google Mini Wins At: 1. Faster Command Response Time: Google Mini responds to commands more quickly, reducing wait time and frustration, especially with routines and automations involving third-party integrations. 2. Complete Remember Command: It can remember where you placed items and recall this information when asked. This really helps us remember where we put things in our house. 3.Less Subscription Promotion: For example, you can ask it to play any type of music and it will play what's available without promoting a premium music subscription. Google Mini Loses At: 1. Less Conversational: Google Mini completes commands but lacks follow-up questions, reducing its effectiveness in helping with task prioritization or setting additional reminders like Alexa. 2. Bare Bones Mobile App: Because Mini integrates with many existing Google applications, you end up having to go to the individual apps, like Gmail or Google Tasks, to find information instead of a centralized app like Amazon Alexa. This makes it much harder for my ADHD spouse to figure things out. 3. Wake Word Responsiveness: The wake word activiates the device. It is not as sensitive as Amazon Alexa, often requiring multiple repetitions to activate. Our Verdict While both Alexa and Google Mini are great, Alexa's strengths align more closely with the needs of our ADHD household. Its user-friendly app and smarter interactions make daily management easier and more intuitive. Although the notifications can be a downside, the ability to have a more conversational experience and set multiple reminders based on task importance is invaluable. Conclusion For our ADHD household, we prefer Alexa. Its ability to engage more naturally, coupled with a more accessible app, outweighs the minor annoyances of extra notifications. However, if quick responses and better music integration are more critical, Google Mini might be the better choice. Consider your specific needs and preferences to make the best decision for your household. Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! Do you have Alexa or or Mini? Comment below and let us know which one you have and your favorite feature in the comment section below!

As a non-ADHD spouse navigating the intricacies of living with an ADHD partner, I found myself in search of guidance and insight. In this pursuit, one name emerged as a beacon of knowledge and expertise: Dr. Russell A. Barkley. Renowned for his groundbreaking work in ADHD research and education, Dr. Barkley's influence on the ADHD community has been truly transformative. Even in retirement, his impact continues to shape how we understand and approach ADHD. Through this blog, I aim to share the reasons behind my deep admiration for Dr. Barkley and explain why he remains my top choice for ADHD information, despite his retirement. Connecting the Dots in Clear Language I've consumed a plethora of content about ADHD through reading, watching, and listening, yet Dr. Barkley's unique ability to explain ADHD symptoms and what it really means to normal folk like me, allowed me to connect the dots between my husband's ADHD symptoms to behavior experiences. Many of my "aha" moments regarding ADHD originated from his work. For instance, in one of his conference talks, he delved into the reason individuals with ADHD turn to alcohol. He explains consuming alcohol provides a way for people with ADHD to slow things down, aligning with their preference for living in the present. This was the first time I encountered an explanation that truly resonated, shedding light on why my husband drinks. From then on, I shifted from viewing his drinking as mere recreation to understanding it as a form of self-medication. Dr. Barkley's powerful explanations have helped me gain a deeper understanding of the challenges posed by ADHD. Free from Fluff Have you ever read something that left you in a haze after just a few pages, prompting you to reread for clarity? This never occurs with Dr. Barkley's content. Each word he chooses appears deliberate and purposeful. I was fortunate to subscribe to his ADHD report, a monthly newsletter he authored for many years, culminating in the December 2022 edition. His writing style resonated with me deeply, as he speaks in a manner that truly connects, for me I believe even a 6-year-old kid can comprehend the medical information, without finding it boring. He enabled me to recognize numerous misinterpretations of my husband's behavior and intentions, ultimately prompting me to relinquish my self-righteousness and navigate my marriage with newfound clarity. Championing Evidence-Based Approaches I am driven by data and facts, which is one of the reasons I hold Dr. Barkley in high regard. His unwavering commitment to evidence-based practices serves as a guiding light for me. His advocacy for treatments grounded in rigorous research has debunked myths and misconceptions surrounding ADHD. This empowerment has allowed me to make informed choices about my partner's care and seek out the most effective interventions. Personal Struggles with ADHD in His Family Dr. Barkley's credibility is augmented by the fact that his life was touched by his brother, who had ADHD. He consistently uses real-life examples to explain evidence-based information about ADHD. In certain lectures from past conferences, he shares how ADHD exacerbates self-inflicted harm, illustrated by his brother's tragic demise in a car accident caused by drunk driving. These personal anecdotes make his teachings more relatable, and I appreciate his openness. Dr. Russell Barkley's unparalleled expertise and dedication to educating the world about ADHD have positioned him as the premier ADHD educator in my eyes. His legacy continues to inspire and guide me in supporting my ADHD partner and cultivating our relationship. Through his research, books, lectures, and advocacy, Dr. Barkley has indelibly shaped our journey with ADHD. Even though he is retired, he continues to do regular updates on his YouTube channel and website to help others who are in need to stay informed. As a non-ADHD spouse, I am eternally grateful for his wisdom, which has enabled me to embrace empathy, compassion, and a deeper comprehension of ADHD's impact on our lives. Here is his website and YouTube channel link if you would like to check out his content yourself. Who is your favorite ADHD educator? Comment below and share your favorite ADHD educator and why with us. Photo from www.russellbarkley.org

Feel free to check out my in-depth reviews on both books below. Enjoy!