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As the year comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on the many breakthroughs we've experienced in our ADHD marriage. This has been a year of growth, change, and deeper connection. These moments—both big and small—remind me how far we’ve come and fill me with hope for what lies ahead. On this final day of the year, I’d like to share some of the breakthroughs that brought us closer together.
Breakthrough No. 1 Changing the Way I Communicate
One of the biggest shifts this year was learning to be mindful of how I communicate with my ADHD spouse. In the past, frustration sometimes led to words spilling out unchecked, and the impact was felt in ways I hadn’t fully understood. This year, I made a conscious choice to approach conversations with encouragement and appreciation, even when I felt upset.
By leading with positivity and avoiding hurtful words, I noticed an incredible change—not just in our relationship but in my spouse’s confidence. Instead of bracing for criticism, he now feels safe and supported when we talk. This change has been transformative for both of us because we don't feel that we are walking on egg shells when we communicate.
Breakthrough No. 2 Witnessing His Confidence Grow
This year, I’ve watched my spouse grow more comfortable and at ease, especially in social situations. Family gatherings used to be a source of tension, where he would withdraw to avoid potential missteps. Now, I see him engaging more openly and confidently with family members, a shift that has brought so much joy to my heart.
Breakthrough No. 3 Building His Own Business
At the beginning of the year, we set a goal for him to start building his own business—a daunting but exciting prospect. Through his hard work and determination, he’s made some great progress, needing only minimal reminders from me. With growth in his business, he was now able to splurge a little more on his hobby. In the past, I had doubts because our society has somewhat program us to go to school, get a good job in order to make a good living. But seeing him flourish in his business, where his customers love his work, and he like the work he is doing, made me realize there are other ways to make a living beyond a 9 to 5 job and that could bring more happiness to my spouse and us.
Breakthrough No. 4 Overcoming My Own Fear
A surprise breakthrough came when I broke my elbow this year. It was an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but it turned out to be an unexpected gift. I had always feared that he wouldn’t be able to step in and take care of me if I got sick. But he showed up for me in ways that met expectations, even with a few bumps along the way. It was a powerful reminder of how capable he is, and how much i need to give him more credit instead always thinking of the worst.
Looking Ahead
As we close out another good year, I am filled with gratitude and anticipation. The breakthroughs we’ve experienced have strengthened our marriage in ways I couldn’t have imagined. I could still remember not too long ago that I thought this marriage was too hard and contemplated giving it up. Now, I’m excited about what the next year holds for us—more growth, more connection, and more opportunities to support each other in becoming the best versions of ourselves.
To anyone walking this journey of ADHD marriage, I hope this serves as a reminder that change is possible, even in the most challenging moments. With patience, understanding, and a willingness to grow together, breakthroughs await.
Here’s to a new year of love, growth, and possibilities.
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