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At the start of November, I embarked on a 30-day gratitude challenge on Facebook, dedicating this journey to expressing thanks to my ADHD spouse. Often, we forget to appreciate those closest to us. With the goal of reducing stress and increasing optimism, these 30 days have proven to be time well spent. As we approach the end of the gratitude challenge, I can attest that not just mine, but our happiness has soared, and our relationship has found a newfound balance. Let's explore the three key differences and changes that have transformed my marriage.
1. ADHD Spouse taking on more
A remarkable shift occurred as my ADHD spouse willingly embraced sharing responsibilities. Fueled by increased positivity and engagement, he volunteered for house chores, such as cleaning the floors—an chore that used to be solely my responsibility on Sundays. This not only lightened my load but also addressed his sensitivity to noise on his day off. Sundays are now quieter, providing us with precious quality time together. This positive change in responsibilities has brought us closer than ever before.
2. Positive Reinforcement for Constructive Feedback
Gratitude paved the way for more natural and positive communication in our marriage. Rather than focusing on what wasn't working, my initial response became expressing thanks for the effort. During our Saturday morning check-ins, when my spouse was slightly agitated after cleaning the floors, I shifted the conversation to appreciation. By thanking him and suggesting a different day for cleaning, he accepted the change with zero resistance and a smile. His willingness to receive additional tips for improvement without hesitation transformed criticism into a constructive dialogue. Reframing feedback as valuable suggestions made him more accepting of opportunities for improvement.
3. Increased Engagement and Happiness
Gratitude acted as a catalyst for a positive transformation in our overall engagement and happiness. This practice led me to rediscover a level of respect for my ADHD spouse. Understanding that he is genuinely doing his best shifted my perspective. Open communication became a bridge, revealing that he wasn't slacking off but navigating challenges uniquely. This newfound understanding empowered me to approach our tasks with patience and devise new ways of communication, creating a more supportive environment for both of us.
Conclusion
Incorporating gratitude into our marriage has been a game-changer. Subtle yet powerful shifts in sharing responsibilities, positive communication, and fostering understanding have created a more harmonious relationship. As spouses navigating the complexities of ADHD, embracing gratitude can serve as a beacon of hope. I invite you to explore the transformative potential of gratitude in your own journey, creating a stronger and more connected partnership.
Call to Action
If you missed our 30-day gratitude challenge on Facebook or want to incorporate it into your daily routine using our template, simply click below to download. Share your experiences in the comment section – we would love to hear from you!
